Metal Yarmulke
Thursday, January 15, 2004

Man, the stuff you can buy on eBay!

It vanished from the online world minutes after eBay learned of the joke, but an attempt to auction off the state of West Virginia drew 56 bids and nearly enough promised cash to fill the state's budget hole.

By Tuesday evening, with five days to go in the sale of item number 2372779353, "Entire State of West Virginia," bidders had bumped the ante up to just $1 short of $100 million.

Bidding probably would have hit $2 million if indoor plumbing had been thrown in. Or dentists' offices.

The auction description went in part:

I, as emperor of West Virginia, have been appointed as steward of this sale...You are bidding on the ENTIRE STATE of West Virginia. Please note that this auction does not come with governing rites, nor the inhabitants of said property.

He says that last bit like it's a bad thing.

You also may not change the state flag, bird, or so on. This is merely for bragging rights, or to hang a sign in your garage that says, "I own West Virginia."

Also please note, you will have every right to succeed from the union, but that has been tried in the past without much success. I am also willing to relinquish the seat of "Emperor" FOR FREE!

"The Emperor" (no relation, I'm sure) must have flunked American history as well as spelling. West Virginia certainly did succeed by remaining in the Union, but it did not secede from the Union.

This is a surefire item to impress the ladies, rub in your brother-in-law's face or impress Japanese business clients...Please NOTE: Item must be picked up in person.

Spoilsport. What fun it'd have been for the winning bidder to walk into MailBoxes Etc. and say, "You guys say you'll ship anything, right?" 
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Something to offend everyone. Flame me at reginleif[at]comcast[dot]net.

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